Writing this post whilst the long weekend winds itself down and we have to face reality again…

Anyone else have trouble transitioning from a long holiday weekend or vacation? It’s tough huh? I’m sure I’m not the only one when I say I wish it could last just a smidgen longer. Just ONE day more. Pretty please?

I learned that the longer I try to avoid that reality is going to come around again and that time keeps moving forward, the less I struggle with this fact. The reason it is difficult is because we want to push this reality outside our realm of consciousness for as long as possible. Or maybe we acknowledge it ever so lightly by saying, “UGH. I hate that Monday is coming.” Like most things in life, too much or too little of anything is unhealthy.

Let’s rewind and think about how we even get to this mental space in the first place. Where we feel so tired and so drained that we tell ourselves, we just need a long vacation to recharge and we’ll be fine. But I think this is incorrect. The key is to prevent getting here in the first place.

Let’s start off by breaking this up into pieces. We need to tackle how to set yourself up for a successful week ahead and then we’ll discuss how to implement processes to balance yourself so you don’t experience burn out.

How to set yourself up for a successful week – 

• Establish a routine during the week and try not to deviate away from those you establish as priorities (e.g. sleeping at least 7 hours, eating breakfast, exercising 45 minutes a day). Test different combinations to find what helps optimize you. Maybe you only need 6 hours, maybe you need the full 8.
• Don’t compare yourself to others. What works for your colleague may not work for you. For example, one big change one of my colleagues implemented to her schedule was to wake up a couple hours early (4:30am). Obviously I am not going to wake up that early, but I did adopt this concept though and set my alarm to wake up earlier. This has dramatically helped me across the board.
• Make easy decisions quicker. Don’t waste your energy thinking about what you are going to eat for lunch that day. Pre-pack your lunch for the entire week. This way you are not tempted to spend $ AND you don’t have to waste an entire 1/2 hour thinking of what to eat (we’ve all done it).
• Move your workouts to the morning instead of at night. This varies for everyone, but this is what worked for me. This is actually how I trained myself to wake up earlier – I would sign up for the 6am class so I was forced to wake up early otherwise I’d incur a $15 penalty. Another double benefit – you get a sense of accomplishment and you give yourself an extra boost of energy.
• Do your chores throughout the week instead of waiting until the weekend. This is how you “cheat” the weekend and buy yourself some extra free time, so it’s not spent doing a mountain of errands. In my case, we make it a point to do our dishes every day, do the laundry on Thursdays (instead of Sundays), clean the house on Friday mornings before work, grocery shopping on Fridays, and meal prepping early on Saturdays. Ideally a “who does what” list would be agreed upon so neither person develops resentment. We just bought ourselves at least 1/2 a Saturday and a full Sunday to do whatever we wanted.
• Set up this schedule with your significant other so that you are in sync with each other and you minimize confusion or last minute schedule changes.
• Share a calendar. My fiance and I share a google calendar where we each update it (almost daily) with any upcoming events or engagements that we have booked. This way we have a clear understanding of each other’s schedules and it establishes a baseline expectation of how busy each of us is going to be.
• Asana. Use an organizational tool if this helps you guys keep track of the duties that are upcoming. My fiance loves this tool because you can track everything you need to do online, set it a specific deadline as well, and assign it to the person responsible. You can even download their app and use it on your phone.

How to prevent burn out – 

• Work remotely. If possible, I’d discuss with your boss about the possibility of working remotely either once a week or every other week. It helps you recharge without actually having to use PTO. Of course this is more ideal for people who have established a relationship with their supervisor, but I would definitely pitch this to them. If they are uneasy about it, you can explain how your duties can still be accomplished at home. In my case, I typically try to work from home after our grueling financial close each month. I understand that since I oversee a large amount of staff that there needs to be a supervisor present so I try to arrange this whenever work is slower.
• Take care of yourself – mentally, physically, emotionally. Thinking of watching one more netflix episode before bed? Don’t do it – just go to bed. Getting enough sleep significantly affects your state the next day. Typically lack of sleep accumulates as well so it’s not like you can  just make it up by sleeping extra the next night. If you have trouble sleeping or winding down like me, try to move your wind down process earlier in the night. Minimum should be 1 hour before bed (unless you’re like my fiance who is a very talented sleeper and can fall asleep very quickly). Wind down should include, turning off TV and putting down your phone. I would even through in a quick 5-10 min meditation to help guide you through the process. Simple habit is a great app for this. Their free version gives you ample meditations for different scenarios (going to sleep, preparing for an interview, preparing for a test, etc.)
• Note down the indications that you are overtired. For me it starts when I start getting allergies (for some reason I always start sneezing when I don’t get enough sleep several days in a row). You can’t seem to concentrate on simple tasks at work. You seem to linger getting out of bed and starting the day. You are easily irritable. I notice I tend to get easily irritated whenever I am too stressed or overworked.
• Vocalize. I can’t overstate how important this is – it’s okay to ask for help. Your significant other is not a mind reader and if anything, they appreciate you telling them what’s wrong and how they can help you.

Basically the key is to learn more about yourself so you can better take care of yourself.

You can’t take care of others until you nurture yourself properly. Don’t underestimate this – it is vital to yourself and how you treat those around you.

Hope you all had a nice long weekend! Talk to you next week. 🙂

xx

Hi everyone!

I just had brunch yesterday with one of my best friends who just moved back from the east coast not too long ago (where I was informed that “brunching” is an actual sport over there). I thought no one brunches the way LA peeps do, but I stand corrected. One gigantic hazelnut nutella (!!!) donut & eggs/potatoes/toast later…I.could.not.move. Let me tell you, if you haven’t had a donut in a long while like me, it tastes like literal heaven once you bite into it. ESPECIALLY if it’s warm. Full disclosure though, I really could only eat half because it was so sweet.

After, I took in the nicest weather LA has seen in awhile, Sephora was having their 20% off everything sale, and I’ve already meal prepped for the week (YAY!). After weathering a pretty rough week, it was necessary to celebrate the small victories.

Last week (and honestly the weeks before that) have been consistently tough for me to get through. I’ve been testing out different strategies to how best to tackle each day when you feel like nothing is going right for you & your tolerance for bullshit is zero.

• Work out in the AM. This is tough to do when you are not an ultra morning bird and not able to sleep early enough the night before. For my 6am workouts, I need to be asleep by 10pm SHARP. However, I will say though the hardest part is just getting yourself there. After I finish a great workout, I haven’t regretted it once. I feel so accomplished after and it actually gives me a boost of motivation.
• Tackle whatever you’re dreading head on. Often times, it’s natural for us to put off the task we’re dreading the most. This past week, I’ve been trying to acknowledge the thought/task/whatever by saying it out loud and accepting that it’s something I’m going to have to address. If you deal with it earlier, you can move on with the rest of your day. You don’t have to sit with those Sunday blues the night before Monday rolls around.
• Free your mental space. Take care of the items that are easier to handle. Organize when you have downtime so you don’t have to waste time doing it later. You want to make your decision making abilities to be as clear and easy as possible. You won’t believe how much energy gets expended on decision making (however small).
• Get your “me” time. I’ve said this in an earlier post, but I can’t stress how important it is to prioritize yourself. If you aren’t nurturing yourself, it will be next to impossible to summon up any sort of positivity or motivation for the week ahead.
• Write down helpful mantras that you can turn to whenever you are struggling. Examples I’ve written down – “Free your mind from your mental prison.” “Don’t overthink.” “Ask the universe for what you want.”
• Simplify & don’t overcomplicate. I’ll be the first to admit how guilty I am of this, but don’t let yourself get caught up in overthinking something. Most of the time, any issue can be simplified into what the core problem is. Have someone you trust tell you that you’re overthinking something so they can bring you out of that rabbit hole. I think once you practice this a few times, you’ll be able to stop yourself sooner.
• Vocalize and ask for help. It’s important that whenever you are feeling overwhelmed that you open up to tell someone about it. Whether it is a family member, friend, or colleague, any one of them has probably gone through something similar or at least experienced it on an emotional level. Even if they can’t give you a solution, at least you won’t feel so alone and you’ll have a support system in place. You’ll never know if you never ask.

I’m going to be testing out a few different themes and formats in the next upcoming posts, so stay tuned!

As always, I’m here. Ask me anything.

xx

Thought I’d write a lil’ post for you guys to break up the monotony of all my career related posts. Although I do have a bunch of career/people advice to share, I don’t want all my topics to be super serious or about work all the time. I want to share other facets of my life with you too!

You ever go through the week and realize you have to stop and ask yourself what day it is? Honestly having a routine is what we need, but I get it – sometimes you just want a little spontaneity!

In other news, my trip to NYC is hopefully almost booked!! Behind Paris, it’s my favorite place to visit so far (I went twice because I couldn’t get enough!). I try to go once a year if I can. It’ll probably be chilly when we go this year, but I don’t care. The city is so electric and gives me this energy that I can’t seem to source in LA. Would love to live here for a year or two someday.

Something to know about me and something my fiance would attest to – I love exploring & I love walking around (I think we clocked on average 25,000 steps per day in Paris!). What can I say, I’m a city girl more than a relaxing on the beach girl.

Here are some random tips and my personal must-see list –

Chelsea, Meatpacking, Greenwich Village

1. Chelsea Market – this has become a tourist trap, but it’s not too bad if you come in the mornings.
2. • Ninth Street Espresso – it’s where I discovered the magic of oat milk. Try their oat milk latte & thank me later!
3. • Los Tacos No.1 – amazing tacos! If you’re a vegetarian, they have a cactus one that’s pretty interesting.
4. • Seafood Market – try their oysters and lobster rolls. Super fresh.
5. Shopping around the Chelsea/Meatpacking area – you’ll find cute boutique shops and your standard shops like Lululemon or Madewell (I find the inventory at this location to be better than the one in SoHo fyi!)
6. Highline – great place to take pictures and take in the view. You can even bring your lunch here and just people watch.

SoHo – great area to spend a few hours shopping and eating (last time I checked in 2017, no tax applied to any retail purchases $110 or less.)

1. Glossier – I know they just opened their LA location, but the past couple times I went they hadn’t yet so I loved going to their flagship store whenever I was in the city. If your city doesn’t have a local Glossier, go go! Even if you’re not interested in makeup/skincare, they let you try everything and to top it off it’s a very ‘grammable place :).
2. Designer stores – there’s no shortage of them as many high-end designers have a flagship store here.
3. Hypebeast stores – Supreme, Kith – expect a line though.

Williamsburg, Brooklyn

1. Meatball shop – I discovered they have a breakfast AND lunch/dinner menu! This is a must try if you are in NY. They have locations in the city (Manhattan) too, but we usually come to this one.
2. Smorgasburg – open every Saturday in Brooklyn and Sunday in Prospect Park. The view is beautiful in Brooklyn though. It’s right near the water and you get the most gorgeous view of the skyline (pictures don’t do it justice). Fun place to hang out; standard food fair type of vendors.
3. Catbird – amazing jewelry store and I’m so sad this is their only location. I make sure to visit this shop whenever I’m here. The girls are very helpful and you can try on as many as you’d like. Sidenote though – the shop is rather small so maybe try going at an off time.
4. DUMBO – this is where you see tourists & bloggers alike getting that iconic shot of the Manhattan Bridge (if you squint, you can even see the Empire State Building). It’s off of Washington and Water Street.

Other MVPs:

1. Madison Square Eats – an outdoor area with a bunch of food vendors in Union Square. Pretty fun, but obviously more ideal for warmer weather.
2. Bike Riding – highly, highly recommend!!! Central Park is an obvious place to go or you can go ride along the pier. You can rent the Citi bikes you see on almost every block.
3. Ballet – my childhood dream was to become a ballerina for the American Ballet Theater (ABT) and I know the movie Center Stage by heart. Fun fact about me – I was a ballet dancer for over 6 years! Go see a ballet if they’re in season. It’s completely worth it. Even my fiance who is not a ballet enthusiast admitted that it was amazing (totally not a snooze fest!).
4. Citymapper – TOTAL MVP of our trip. Download this app right now – you will not regret it. It is the best navigating tool to use while you’re in a city like Paris or NYC. It gives you very detailed instructions on which subway to take, where to exit, or even your nearest Citi Bike. YOU’RE WELCOME.
5. Shake Shack – several of these burger places have opened in LA, so it’s not so much a novelty anymore, but everyone should try it at least once. In-N-Out, 4 lyfe!
6. If I could pick anywhere to stay, I would choose a hotel in Union Square (W – Union Square is fantastic). It’s pretty central to everything and is in a decent area. Prices are definitely higher in this area, so I would recommend using your credit card points or sites like Hotwire. We are staying near Bryant Park this time around (which is closer to Midtown), so I’ll report back on how that goes.

Pro-Tip: This might be an unpopular opinion, but Times Square is really not worth going out of your way to check out. I mean you should probably go at least once, but the crowds of people there are enough of a reason for me to stay away (and by crowds, I mean CROWDS). We tried to go to Junior’s for cheesecake and the line was wrapped around the corner (and this is after you fight through the hoards of people to get there).

This is an ever-evolving list, so please let me know if they’re not on here. Honestly, I think there’s always something new to explore everytime I visit. You can probably spend a week here and still not get through everything. There are endless brunch spots, photo ops, and the thing I love most – free activities to choose from (Wendy’s Lookbook has a great post of things to do for free!). Best of all, you don’t have to drive (my Angelenos share my pain)!!

Again I’m sure this is not the most comprehensive list out there and this is simply what I enjoy doing. What’s your favorite thing to do or cities to visit?

Can’t wait to hear back!

xx

When I became the leader of the free world (just kidding) of my team at work, there were a few things I was very uncertain of prior to assuming the role.

1. I was not “groomed” to take this role. My career path was very different. However, the role was vacated suddenly and I had to step up.
2. This group of people had worked for the same person for the last 6-8 years. This particular person’s management style was not to empower them to learn new skills or to adapt to new changes, but rather to appease them so they could simply stay afloat.
3. Like most groups, the demographic is not going to be easy peasy lemon squeezy. As mine did, it had a WIDE range. I had older folks who were not only not tech savvy, but tech-resistant. I had younger folks who never bothered to learn anything advanced either (by advanced, I’m talking basic to intermediate excel formulas that any person in our industry would be expected to know).
4. Since they had performed the skills and steps for so many years, you’d think they’d at least be experts in their silos. Nope. They were certainly not.

Don’t get me wrong, I am not saying these things to talk negatively about my team or paint me as a victim. I want to provide some context as to what I walked into.

How do you manage this uncertainty? How do you prepare yourself and your team for this transition? In some cases, there might be a much larger change to adapt to. What if there is a complete leadership change at the very top? How do you deal with that? There is no one size fits all answer to this question – in life and in the workplace, but these are a few ways to make the process smoother.

1. Find your north star.

• It’s easy to get lost in the moving pieces and the day to day details that you forget what is the ultimate reason behind everything. What is the end goal? Now even if the change comes from up top, there is always a way to drill down to what your division/group’s bigger picture is. Is it to make processes more efficient? Is it to focus more on tracking sales? Is it to improve on forecasting?

2. Set incremental goals. 

• Set goals at the team level and individual level. Ensure the individual goals align with the bigger picture goal (team goal). You can set them at 90 days, 6 months, a year, etc. Regularly check-in with yourself and have an “inner pulse” as to where you feel the team/you are.

3. Micro-manage. 

• This is counter-intuitive because there are countless articles that tell you not to do that. You have to tap into your leadership intuition and see how long you have to do this part for but remember – the point of doing this is to control the situation from the get-go. Anytime you are implementing changes, you need to have all eyes on it. It is super (for lack of better word) UGH, but once you feel things are rolling along smoothly, you can let go of the reins a bit.

4. Be willing to seek help and adjust. 

• One thing that you cannot be too proud to do – ask for help. Create your inner circle who you can rely on to bounce ideas off of and trust to get honest feedback. It’s not the time to be too prideful during times of change and uncertainty. These people will most likely have a better idea of what is happening on the “ground level.”

5. Increase communication. 

• If you do not already have this going, I would get going on establishing communication with whoever the change in leadership is. This will help make your day MUCH easier. The more you do this, the more you will feel like they are in your corner and the fear of failure won’t be as great. Of course, you will still carry the responsibility if things do not go according to plan, but at least this way you can properly communicate (with confidence – which is key!!) what your thought process was and how you plan to improve.

One of the major uncertainties that inherently come with any sort of change will be – “am I still going to have a job?” All of the steps above have an implicit goal to address this understandable feeling of instability. Once everyone gets on board and understands what the bigger picture is, they will hopefully see a renewed purpose for how their part plays into the larger goal.

Hope you are all enjoying what is left of your weekend! Remember to find some time for yourself (even if for only an hour). Your future self will thank you.

As always, I want to hear what you guys think!

xx

Sitting here in a way too hot LA (but can’t complain) and honestly I didn’t feel like I could come up with any fresh content for you guys this week. Staying true to myself, I asked why I felt that way. Was I only going to write when inspiration strikes? Definitely not realistic. Was I only going to write when I had a unique topic to discuss? Certainly not.

After a cup of strong coffee, time with nature (by nature I mean sitting outside in Old Town Pasadena), and some introspection – I realized I can talk about how to find ways to unwind. I know this is not a new topic, but it’s an important “skill” to address and often overlooked.

Granted I’m someone who is comfortable spending a ton of time on my own thoughts. This isn’t a trait everyone shares. As one of the many who struggles with anxiety, it is imperative that we find a way to detox and disconnect. Now I can list a bunch of things that work for me, but in order to find the most effective way to unwind for you, you have to spend some time learning about yourself – whether by keeping a journal or just making an effort to be more aware.

You may think that going out with friends or family is a great way to unwind, but I’m going say something you may not agree with – it’s not. Spending time with others only scratches the surface. These activities can actually do the opposite. Do you ever feel drained after?

In my case, it manifested into a shopping addiction (yes, this is real y’all). I sought out the immediate gratification that it brought me. The “happiness” possessions brought me covered up just how unhappy I actually was. I thought I had it under control – I was simply enjoying my weekend. I was having time with myself that I didn’t have at home. It wasn’t until I got to a point where I didn’t feel anything anymore. I would buy things and feel nothing. No feeling whatsoever. I wasn’t any happier (and poorer). I wasn’t taking care of myself.

Learn to say no. 

This set me free. If you’re a standard people pleaser and generally have a tough time saying no, this takes some practice, but it’s not unachievable. Trust me, there will always be a million reasons not to do something. Start small. It’s okay to say no and it’s okay to spend time with yourself.

1. At work – if you are feeling burned out or if the request is just unreasonable, vocalize this. This is a way you can develop a stronger relationship with your boss. You can voice this whilst still being professional. Trust me, a good boss will appreciate this. You are not over-promising nor will you under deliver. And more likely than not, you’ll learn how to ask for help/delegate. If possible, try asking if you can work remotely. You’d be surprised how much this helps. This is not a weakness.
2. Friends – this was actually the toughest part for me to practice. I’m an only child and an introvert, so I’m no social butterfly. I find it considerably difficult for me to make a ton of friends. I thought I needed to have more friends and even if they were toxic, it was better than having none. Don’t fall into this trap. Be secure enough with yourself to know when it’s time to cut someone out. Ask yourself – how are they making your life better? How are they making you better? As Robert DeNiro once said, “whenever there is any doubt, there is no doubt.“
3. Family – now I love my family. But being an only child of a single mother, I’ve felt a responsibility to make sure I did whatever I could to make sure she never felt lonely or unhappy. Now, this was a feeling I burdened myself with – my mom never explicitly said this was something I had to do. I often felt I had to spend whatever free time I had with her. This would often lead to me feeling empty at the end of my weekend. I’ve learned how to balance this and my mom is getting better and better at understanding. (e.g. instead of a full day, why not have dinner or lunch? Parents ultimately just want quality time with you anyways).

Alright, I think I’ve gone on long enough and not sure if this helped at all, but it was great to share some more of myself with you guys. I’d love to hear how all of you like to unwind!

 

 

As discussed in the last post, I mentioned some tips on how to handle managing difficult people or how to handle conflict. However, in this post, I’d like to discuss the opposite – how to use the individual personality types (take the free test here!) to help you succeed.

Now obviously I’m not a professional psychologist nor did I even study it in college. My profession doesn’t even involve anything related to human behavior. However, I’ve always found the way people act and why they act a certain way very intriguing. I’m sure this is discussed in self-help books and leadership seminars, but those do not acknowledge the simple fact that no one person mirrors the exact same character traits of another. It’s not their fault, because studying a human is very, very time-consuming.

This was a new revelation I had after becoming a boss – over 80% of your day is spent evaluating personality types and how to navigate them.

As I mentioned earlier, I discussed how to handle conflicts, but it wasn’t until an old friend reminded me of this – you can discuss how to find your way to success too. Honestly, it was a refreshing reminder for me.

I understand that not everyone is going to or even has the time to spend studying a person as if they’re a scientist, so I’m just going to list some quick tips/thoughts/guidance/whatever. Since there are so many different Myers-Briggs combinations, I’m going to discuss two for comparison purposes.

1. ISTJ (Logistician). Introversion (I), Sensing (S), Thinking (T), Judging (J). This person is going to be very solution driven and probably your best problem solver. Their strength is their ability to arrive at the point very quickly and you definitely want to use this to your advantage (especially if you need a complex analysis done with a quick turnaround). Flip side: You’ve probably guessed, but this person does not handle emotion well nor do they seek it. They don’t need the “good jobs” or the pat on the back. They don’t seek validation. The downside of this is that if provoked, they can come off abrasive or cold, which may rub a teammate the wrong way.

• Tip: From a leaders perspective – show them the value of empathy. For example, if you need a deliverable from “x” (who assuming is not logic oriented), you need to change your approach. Even if you feel like your way is right, suck it up and try approaching them in either of these ways – 1) a softer way (if they are on the sensitive-side) or 2) give them validation (if they typically seek it), or 3) offer help (but in a gentler way so as to not make them defensive). You can roll your eyes when you get home. This will give you the solution you want without having to deal with the emotional mess with a colleague. (Note: This is not to be confused with coddling someone. This does not apply to repeated offenses.)

2. INFJ (Advocate). Introversion (I), Intuition (N), Feeling (F), Judging (J). Admittedly, this is what I got on the test :). Disclaimer: there are going to be varying percentages for each of these items (e.g. there can be two introverts, but one is 100% and the other is maybe 60%). For me, I think I received somewhere north of 90% introversion. I found this to be very accurate. Not to be confused with shyness, introverts typically keep to themselves and can quickly feel exhausted in social situations. To offset this, we need time to decompress by ourselves afterward. In the workplace (and in my case), I typically like to be left alone and don’t really require too much oversight. Flip side: As I rely mostly on feeling and intuition, I have trouble overthinking and obsessing over what can be perceived by others as trivial. This eats up a lot of energy and time on my end that I could spend tackling other assignments. And when it is really bad, it can lead to me not wanting to do anything. At all.

• Tip: Stick to the facts. This is very important to remember. I learned this in the past week (yes it has been a long journey for me) – repeat and reassure. Repeat the facts. Repeat again. Reassure yourself that based on these facts, you can be confident in your actions. You can be confident in whatever it is that you said. Don’t fall into the pit of rationalizing the issue. Just stick to the facts.

If you haven’t taken the test yet, please do! I’d love to hear what your results are. Do you feel they’re accurate?

I have an important topic that’s been on my mind that I’m sure plenty of you deal with on a daily basis. Difficult people. Difficult situations. What is the best way to handle? How do you cope? These are sub-topics I’d like to explore.

In my day to day job, I am a manager who oversees a team of eight people. Compared to a large operation, this may not seem very much, but trust me, it is not easy. Eight personalities, learning styles, communication techniques that I have had to figure out. I’ve been a manager for almost two years now and admittedly so, I had no clue what I was doing (sometimes still don’t). There is no rule book or dummy proof guide on how to manage people.

DOs:

1. Questions. Ask a lot of them. And then, ask some more.
   • Tip: I find that if you are hesitant about asking a question (for fear of appearing stupid), I would acknowledge right off the bat that you’re new and you’d just love to hear their take on how they approached a similar situation. In my experience, I found that this taps into their empathy. Trust me, everyone has started somewhere. And they’ve experienced the exact same growing pains you did.
2. Google. There are enough examples on the internet to last a lifetime.
3. Talk it out.
   • Talk it out with a fellow colleague or someone you trust. Even if they are not a manager themselves, you’d be surprised to hear a fresh take on a situation and they could offer you a different perspective.
4. Write it down. Same as #3.
5. Figure out people’s communication style. Not everyone learns or receives information the same way. What may appear logical or common sense to you may not be as apparent to someone else. I can go on and on about this.
   • Pro-pro tip: key into what they need. Find a way to give them this (within reason). For example, I noticed that every few months or so, “X” would get attitude-y or complain about her workload. This is when I noticed that all she wanted was acknowledgment and validation. In this case,  if I offered sincere words of encouragement or gratitude, it would motivate her to keep working hard and perform. The goal is for them to want to work hard for you.

DON’TS:

1. Never send an angry email immediately after a heated moment. It’s not professional to send emotional emails in the workplace, especially if they do not offer a proposed solution. I recommend writing it out, but do not type in the person’s email address. Sit on it for a couple of hours and chances are, you won’t be as angry and you’ll be able to get your point across more effectively.
2. Engage with someone who is looking to pick a fight/argument. Just don’t do it. It is always tempting and we all imagine it to be super satisfying to eviscerate someone, but it never works out that way. You have to work with this person every day and it will be very awkward and uncomfortable to do so. Most of us spend a majority of our lives at a workplace, so why make yourself miserable? Ask yourself: is it worth it?
3. Don’t take it personally. This is a key one, but probably the most difficult. If you’re anything like me, you obsess over details and what you should have said or done over and over again.
   • Tip: Write it out and write down the facts only. I find that this helps take the “personal” aspect out of it. Don’t include the way it made you feel or your own opinion.

I’d love to hear from you guys! Any stories or tips you’d like to share? I’m always looking to learn.

Today I want to talk about mental prisons. Now I don’t know if there is a “right” way to talk about the topic of mental health but to put it simply – I have anxiety and depression.

I’ve dealt with this most of my adult life but didn’t quite know how to explain it to people. It wasn’t until I experienced this rock bottom feeling that I knew I had to seek external help. I’ve been going to therapy for the past year and a half or so and while I can say it helps, there is still a lot of work to go. I don’t think that you’re ever really “done” with therapy (trust me, I had a lot of frustration when I realized this). You see, the way my personality works is that if I start something, I have to finish it. There has to be a goal. An ending. A finish line. Needless to say, this is still something I struggle with.

I don’t deal with bouts of depression on a daily basis. Sometimes I can go for months without any issues. I’ve noticed that anxiety and depression go hand in hand. So if I’ve been experiencing high levels of stress at work, then it typically triggers an onslaught of emotions.

Recently I’ve noticed that I’m not able to quiet my mind and it just feels like my mind keeps talking to me nonstop. It feels like I’m drowning in thoughts and I’m just patching up leaks as they happen. There are moments where I’ll randomly think about a conversation that happened earlier and I’ll obsess over what I didn’t say.

Do any of you ever find the same thing happening to you? Any tips on how to work through it?

 

So where to begin (pun intended)…

Not really sure how to introduce myself, so let’s just dive right in!

1. My name is Tiffany Truong and I’m from LA (born and raised).
2. I love cherries, hot cheetos, and french fries more than anything.
3. INFJ – those who have taken the personality test know what I mean
4. Bit of a perfectionist and have tried to start this blog many times.
5. Obsessed with skincare and pilates.

I’m sure there are more substantial things that I could write about myself, but I’m sure as I go on this journey with y’all that I’ll figure out more along the way. To be perfectly honest I am using this blog as a way to hopefully help me discover more about myself!

Stay patient with me please 🙂